Heart-shaped rocks

     Heart shaped rocks, you say?  What is psychic about THAT?  Well, in fact it is in my experience a psychic phenomena for me. Let me explain... many years ago, perhaps 20 years or more, I once found a heart-shaped rock.  It was well-defined and definitely shaped like a heart.  I picked it up and kept it and it was one of my most precious possessions because it could not be purchased anywhere.  It was totally unique and unusual, which I loved.



Part of my collection

    Then, about ten years ago, I began to research psychic phenomena.  I learned that if you want something in your life you can ask for it to be there.  The first thing that I asked for, for another reason that is very personal and special, were the colors purple and red. That is a story for another post, but all I need to say here is that red and purple began to appear in my life.  Around that time I moved into an apartment and in going through my things, found the heart-shaped rock that I had found so many years ago.  I said to myself, "it would be so cool to find another one."  I can't remember where exactly, but I found another one. 

     Then I took a job at Hala Ranch about 4 years ago.  They had rather large rocks laid in on all the walkways around the barn and in going back and forth with the horses I found hundreds - yes, hundreds of heart-shaped rocks.  You might think this is impossible, or that I am stretching the truth.  No.  I have shown my collection to those who visited the barn and initially they too were skeptical, but there they were, piles of heart-shaped rocks!  Our farrier, Tom, thought I was a crack-pot at first.  He thought my heart-shaped rocks were...kinda silly.  Tom is a man's man, you see.  Then one day at this ranch which is high up in mountains, the deep winter snow began to melt and caused quite a bit of flooding on his place.  He said that huge rocks were actually floating on to his front yard.  He said to me, "And Cari, wouldn't you know, this huge rock lands on my front lawn and I'll be damned if it wasn't shaped like a HEART!"

A small part of my collection

     I also found them while on vacation and at home and other places there are rocks.  Sometimes I forget to look, because you must look in order to find them.  And sometimes it's good to take a rest from looking.  I left part of my collection at the ranch and I don't know what will happen to them, but that's OK.  It's good to let go sometimes and return what we have been given.  The joy comes in finding them in the first place.  For me they symbolize several things: love and wishing things in to your life and creating the impossible.

     For me the heart-shaped rocks are something I brought into my life.  I created them somehow (not literally) but in my mind.  My desire to find them put them where I would find them. It proved to me that you can bring things into your life that you want to be there.  I am also sure that we are destined not to get everything we have asked for, but many things we can influence.  Of course you must wonder why I didn't wish other things in to my life, like oh, money? Or a dream job?  Actually, that would be a good topic for another blog.  I did get my dream job, and the man I desired, and a small quantity of money so far.  I have gotten many things I wanted, they just didn't turn out quite like I thought they should.  Our lessons to be learned in this life are more important than getting what you want.  The things you "want" are attached to problems that you must resolve, unless it is something like a heart-shaped rock.  God says, "oh of course you can have a heart-shaped rock, Cari.  No charge!"

One of my favorite heart-shaped rocks

Addendum:  I wrote this a few months ago and had never posted it.  In the meantime, my good friend
 Leigh Ann came to visit from and mentioned to me that she has a collection of all things, heart shaped rocks! What a wonderful moment - sometimes the universe or God or the powers that be show us why our friends are our friends...  Here is a photo of her collection:

Leigh Ann's collection

Leigh Ann and I

   

Ghost crash

The ghost, that's what I believe it was, terrorized me as a young girl in Hawaii by walking outside my bedroom window and sitting on the end of my bed a few times a week.  These events happened regularly and often, but what happened one night only happened once or I might have died of a heart attack. 

One moonless night the footsteps woke me.  With my stuffed animals arranged carefully and the covers well-tucked under head, I listened intently.  They began outside as usual, but then they changed direction, coming from the doorway of our bedroom.  Unusually for me, I lay on my back that night.   As the steps came closer fear paralysed me and prevented me from turning over.  My entire body became clammy, breaths came quick and shallow.  The footsteps stopped and I suddenly became  aware that the "man" was standing next to my bed!

The next thing that happened still makes me profoundly afraid to this day.  Unthinkably, the ghost fell on top of me!  I felt his warm breath on my neck, the weight of his body on top of me.  Once he had fallen neither of us moved.  I couldn't!  And then the feeling dissipated.  He did not get up again, he simply disintegrated.  For the rest of the night I lay there wide awake until dawn.

Shortly after that our living arrangements changed enough so that I could be moved to another bedroom in the house and the haunting stopped.  No one sat on my bed in the other bedroom and it became apparent to me, anyway, that the ghost was associated with that place.  Who was it and why did they haunt that place?  I feel that it was a man who lived in the house and had contemplated suicide for months.  The walking and sitting sounded pensive, as if someone were trying to decide what to do.  When the ghost came to my bedside and fell, I think that he was "reliving" his suicide.  It is said that those who commit suicide are locked in a kind of limbo between earth and heaven and I believe that this could be true. 

Later, as a grown woman, my Mom and I talked about the haunting incident of my youth.  Through that whole scary time my Mother had tried to calm my fears to make it seem like everything had a rational explanation.  It did help for her to say those things and she also gave me the tools to think about it rationally at the time (though I just couldn't). But now that I was all grown up she said something that shocked me.  I asked her what she thought it was that had happened to me, and this time she said, "I don't know, Cari, but you sure scared the hell out of me!"

Ghost walking

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   The most chilling and strange thing that has ever happened to me occurred when I was a child of about 10 or 11 growing up in Hawaii.  My bedroom was part of a converted garage and since it was rather large, it had been divided up into three "rooms" using bookshelves as walls so that my siblings and I could each have a space.  My room was at the back next to the backyard, looking out at a patio (called a lana'i).  I am not sure exactly when, but soon after we moved in I began to hear footsteps at night outside my room.  It sounded as if someone was walking in circles on the patio. 

I could hear the scuff of their hard-soled shoes on concrete, the tap of regular steps and then the turn as the "person" circled around on the patio.  The steps were sharp and very clear as  they got closer and then moved further away.  I slept with twenty stuffed animals and the covers over my head at all times.  A small hole in the covers near my head allowed for breathing air while sweat formed everywhere else.  When the steps woke me in the night, the fear paralyzed me for hours while I wondered about the man (I was sure it was a man!) who marched and marched outside my window.

The walking was bad enough, but then something else happened that frightened me even more.  Just as I was about to fall asleep, someone would sit on the end of my bed!   The creak of the mattress, the depression, the weight of a body.... Oh lord, it scared the living crap out of me!  They would sit there for awhile and finally get up.  Somehow, once the person had left, I managed to fall asleep. 

 I can only attribute this to the complex "protection" which I thought would guard me from the ghost, the kind of protection only a child imagines will work.  My piles of stuffed animals guarded me closely, making a wall between me and the thing out there.  When they had been placed just so each night and the covers were pulled over my head and a small breathing hole allowed air to get in, I would read books by the light of a flashlight until sleep took over.  My mother did not know what to do.  She told me it must be a dream, that since the "bed sitter" only came just as I fell asleep, then I probably had fallen asleep and was dreaming.  She had given me the flashlight so that I could shine the light on whatever it was and so prove to myself that nothing was there.  No way could I leave the protection of the covers to reveal myself to the thing.  Not only that, no matter what shining a light at the "sitter" could only make it worse!  Either way, if nothing were there or something was there, it would be awful!

At one time I nearly convinced myself that the footsteps were simply water dripping after the very common downpours that happen in Hawaii.  But no, the steps sounded different than the water, very crisp and definite. 

If the haunting weren't bad enough, one more thing happened to me regarding this ghost.  I will never forget it and to this day I can still feel the sensations from that night.